Blog Posts

There are times when we’re blindsided by business or personal relationships that for some reason turn sour, seemingly out of the blue. In retrospect we know this is not an effort without prior regard. How did we not portend such an intense outcome? Maybe because we were self-involved, or took the relationship for granted and missed the signposts leading into different directions?!
I’ve lost two good friends in rapid succession lately, so this is particularly pertinent to me. Perhaps I might assist others to realize that without the thoughtful and honest detachment regarding our consciousness in relationship of all types, there is that possibility of surprise.
Detachment doesn’t mean removing your emotions or your ability to share within the moment with anyone. It simply means you have tools allowing you some independent space between sharing and reaction in order to discern the best honest communication that can’t be misinterpreted. In order to be honest we must understand the strengths and deficits in both individuals, respecting beyond both into shared acceptance.
If I’m honest, and in retrospect, I judged both of these people inviting them consciously or unconsciously to do the same with me.
Your toolbox might include:
… listening to your self talk before opening your mouth
… distraction topics available that you can jump to mindfully in replacement of negative thinking or judgement
… regular meditation in support of your self esteem and stronger empathy for others
… use of the Hawaiian Forgiveness Prayer (google it) to repair broken bonds of self regard, not only for yourself but for “other” as well.
As a result of these surprises in my friendships, I’m more willing to be present in the care and feeding of my relationship through the use of my detachment toolbox. I hope they provide some help to you too.